


Dust Gathering On My Fingers

by Jenny Crosby



Category: iCarly
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-16
Updated: 2011-04-16
Packaged: 2014-11-02 18:55:05
Rating: T
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,183
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6751503/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2749914/Jenny-Crosby
Summary: I looked at Freddie and he looked back, and we practically had a full conversation without saying anything. Sequel to Definitely Not Like The Movies. :D





	1. Chapter 1: Sam

Chapter One: Sam's POV

Three Years After "Not Like The Movies"

Ages: 17-18

I'd eventually recovered from the incident back when we were all fifteen, but I don't think Freddie ever did. He completely changed. He didn't do anything that had anything to do with technology. It reminded him too much of iCarly. He'd dropped out of A/V club, and refused to attend Computer Lab. His grades suffered immensely.

Carly eventually got better. She met a boy, Adam, that she said made her happy, but I knew she'd never love him as much as she loved Freddie.

Spencer continued to make sculptures a while after, but his art changed entirely. It was as if Carly and he shared part of a brain, and when she was depressed, so was he. Now, all his sculptures revolved around the collapse of humanity.

Carly and I eventually made up, but I knew, deep inside, she no longer trusted me. And I didn't blame her.

Now here we are, a group of "friends" once more, mere months of our senior year left. After this, we'll never see each other again. Maybe once at the grocery store a few weeks after graduation, and we'll nod like we care, then forget three days later. That will be the extent. And it kills me inside.

I know I can't do anything about it.

For a while after the big breakup, people would occasionally come up to one of us and ask, "Hey, why wasn't there an iCarly this week? Is someone sick?" We wouldn't answer. I didn't even have the energy to insult them. I knew I couldn't hide my feelings with anger and violence anymore.

iCarly never went back on the air.

"So, what are we going to do for the end of the year?" Carly asked, not sounding very interested at all.

"Die," I suggested, and Freddie cracked a cynical smile that lasted as long as one-millionth of a second.

"Seriously," she half-heartedly urged. "There's got to be something we could do to celebrate. Sam, you're going to be eighteen the day of graduation, you'll be legal." I was temporarily stunned she remembered my birthday.

"Carly, why are you friends with me?" I asked, twirling my straw wrapper in between my fingers, not meeting her eye.

"W-what?" she asked, looking at the bright florescent "Groovy Smoothy" sign.

"You don't like me. You hate me and everything I do, say or touch. Why do you bother hanging around me? I know I repulse you."

"Sam, you don't repulse me," Carly told me, emphasizing the word "repulse" as if there were a similar adjective she would've used in the context.

"Yes, I do, don't deny it. Why do you even waste your time with me?"

"Sam, I know what you did was wrong. I think we all do," Carly said, and I saw Freddie cringe as if the memory physically hurt him to think about. "But that doesn't mean I'm not willing to forgive you."

I looked at Carly. Was she serious? "Are you trying to say you still like me?" I asked.

"Well," Carly began, "you were the best friend I've ever had, even if you made out with my boyfriend and caused me to spiral into a deep depression. All in all, Sam, despite your flaws, you really are a one-in-a-million person."

Carly's words caused me to do something unexpected. Something Sam never should do.

I wiped the tear from my eye, sniffing and not looking at the two.

"Aw, Sam, are you crying?" Carly asked in her all-too-familiar sympathy voice.

"No," I demanded, "Freddie's just…such a dork it gets me emotional sometimes."

I remembered the sequence from when we were much younger, and we all laughed. And I mean really laughed. As hard as when Carly's terrible bunny was displayed on iCarly. Even Freddie laughed. "Good one, Sam. I think we all needed that," Freddie said.

I looked at Freddie and he looked back, and we practically had a full conversation without saying anything. Carly, seeing this exchange, quickly said she had to go to the ladies' room and dashed off, and I remembered my old friend, having my back once more.


	2. Chapter 2: Freddie

Chapter Two: Freddie's POV

I loved Sam. I'd come to realize this over the years we were apart. I was positive she'd gotten over me until today at the Groovy Smoothy, that way she looked at me. Carly left during the exchange, and I had a feeling it was a girl thing.

"Freddie," Sam said finally, "do you still hate me?"

"Sam," I said in the exact way, "do you still love me?"

She hesitated a while, taken aback by my question. Then, "Yes."

"I've loved you since you went to jail when we were fifteen."

"Please, Dear Lord, do not remind me of that time," she said, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose, as if the memory gave her a headache.

"Well, I have," I said.

"I think I have, too, Freddie. And you know how bad I am at expressing my feelings."

"You're definitely getting better, Sam." I smiled at her, and for the first time in my life, I saw her blush.

Carly came back and sat down, seeing us smiling at each other. "Alright you guys," she said, banging her hands jokingly on the table, "this has gone on long enough."

When we looked at her, pretending to be confused, she continued. "You know what I mean. Even when Freddie and I were together, I knew you guys had it. That spark that the perfect couple needs. You guys may be opposites, but you match together perfectly."

I saw Sam blush again. "Sam," I started, "I couldn't ask you this before, considering you were in jail, but, would you like to go out with me sometime?"

I saw her look at Carly, as if asking her permission in silence. All Carly had to do was nod once. "Well," Sam said, "uh, sure." I could tell she wasn't sure if she should be saying yes or not. After the breakup, I knew she'd slipped back into the Original Sam-mode she was in in the beginning.


	3. Chapter 3: Carly

Chapter Three: Carly's POV

I saw the two looking at each other in that way, and I just knew: It was time to move on from Freddie. I'd been hanging on to the memory too long, and I needed to let him go. Being with Sam was obviously what he wanted, and if I really loved him, I needed to let him be with her and be happy again.

I saw the way Sam had built her iron walls back up during those two years. It showed with her actions, words, even her posture. That, and I just knew her too well for her to fool me with her tough outer core.

After that day at the Groovy Smoothy, we hung out almost every day, at my house, at Freddie's, at school, anywhere. We even went up to the iCarly studio, Freddie's equipment he never took back now gathering dust. Freddie didn't go to studio. He wasn't ready yet. I thought that may be the one thing he never really would recover from.

One day, when Sam and I went up to the studio, Sam said, out of nowhere, "Do you ever wish we did the show anymore?"

"Yeah, all the time," I responded, fiddling with Freddie's antenna, dust collecting on my fingers.

"Me, too," Sam admitted, "but I know Freddie's not ready yet."

"You call him Freddie now." It wasn't a question.

"I do?"

"Yeah," I said. "What happened to all the nicknames? Fredweird? Fredwart? Freducchini? Dishrag?"

"That last one was a personal favorite," Sam laughed cynically to herself. "I may have to pick that up again."

"Not necessarily," I said.

"Eh, I'll talk to the dork about it," she said, shrugging off the conversation, as if to say, "Alright, new topic."

"So, how's Adam?" she asked, wiping the dust off the beanbags and sitting down on her favorite one.

Bitter memories flashed through my mind, and I disguised my shiver as a cough. "Fine," I lied, sitting next to her on my beanbag.

"Please, Carls, I know you better than that," she said, crossing her arms and turning to face me directly, as if to say, "You have my undivided attention, even though you don't want it."

"Seriously, it's fine," I assured her, but she knew I was a terrible liar. She let it go that day at that, but I could tell she was concerned.


	4. Chapter 4: Sam

Chapter Four: Sam's POV

"Right this way, m'lady," Freddie said jokingly, opening the door of the car for me like a chauffer.

"Shut up," I said, but I was smiling and laughing.

"Sure thing," he whispered, pressing his lips to my hair.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, sitting in my seat and waiting for him to come to the other side.

Once he'd gotten in, he said, "It's a surprise," and winked.

"So, uh, Freddie," I started, "did you ever think the nickname thing was like…annoying?"

"Not really," he answered honestly. "I actually kinda liked some of 'em. That might sound kinda weird, but it was like you were spending time coming up with those, which meant you must've been thinking about me."

"Uh, yeah," I said, getting more uncomfortable with the situation.

We drove in silence for a while down a dark street with trees surrounding us, as if we were driving through a forest preserve.

"Seriously, Fred-o, where are we going?"

"That's one I liked." He was avoiding my question, and seemed very pleased with himself about it.

"Dork! I'm serious! Forests freak me out!"

"Just be patient, Puckett," he said, patting my knee like I was a child. I moved it away, pouting and looking out the window.

Slowly, the trees began to part, and I began to see where we were going. A big hill emerged from behind the evergreens, with a spot not far below for parking cars.

"Freddie?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"Are we going to a hill?"

"Possibly. Is that a hill or a platueu?"

"Uh…I was absent the day we learned what that was."

He laughed, then pulled into the small parking lot below the hill. "We're here," he announced, pulling the keys from the ignition, killing the song off short.

"Seriously? A hill? You couldn't think of anything better? Like possibly a place with food?"

"If I'd taken you to a resteraunt, you would've complained for having to wear a dress. C'mon, this is romantic."

"Oh, yes. Being eaten alive by bugs is romantic. Ok."

He turned to me, grabbed my hands, and kissed me. Then, he gave me a smile and said, "Humor me."

That was all I needed. We walked up the hill, hands not relaxing their grip, in silence. When we got to the top, we sat on the edge. He was right. This was romantic. Despite the fact that sand was getting everywhere and bugs were swarming, the dark night sky was all I needed to be satisfied.

"Wow," I said, "I didn't think staring at the sky would be romantic. Guess you proved me wrong, Freduchinni."

"It depends on who you're with," he said, still looking at the sky. "I chose this spot since it's far from the city. If we'd been far in, we wouldn't be able to see so many stars."

We sat there in silence for a while, until Freddie broke the silence. "Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

I looked at him and said, "Um, I love you too, Fredefer."

He laughed. "Can you believe two years ago we were pretending to hate each other?"


	5. Chapter 5: Freddie

Chapter Five: Freddie's POV

"So, even though we both are in relationships, we can still hang out?" I asked reluctantly. "Don't you think that sounds kinda risky?"

"Risky?" Carly laughed. "Freddie, I don't think you'll have any problem not cheating on Sam. Even if you wanted to, you know she'd break your nuts if you tried." I cringed at the image, and she laughed again. "We were friends before, we can be friends now. Don't be such a wimp." And so I sat.

"So, what movie are we watching?" I asked, watching her closely as she reached for the remote, noticing she'd had the whole thing set up before I got there.

"Adventureland," she responded, and pressed play. The opening credits began, and I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders. I looked at her, and she said, "What? I'm getting comfortable, Freddie. Don't get your panties in a twist."

I felt uncomfortable, but I knew if I pushed it any further, she'd get mad at me, and I still wanted to be friends with her. But I kept a closer eye on her now.

As we got to some of the steamier parts, I felt her squeeze my thigh. "Uh, Carly?"

"Yeah?"

"You haven't been….drinking, have you?"

"Freddie, you know me better than that." Her hand stayed in place.

Then, she took it too far. She turned to me, grabbed the sides of my face, and pulled me in. But before she could kiss me, I jumped back off the couch and turned the lights on. She paused the movie. "What's wrong?" she asked, standing up to stand by me.

"Carly, Sam? Adam?"

She gave me a look. "Are you trying to say if Sam wasn't around, you'd kiss me right now?"

"No, I'm not saying that, Carly. Stop twisting my words around."

"You didn't have a problem cheating on me," she said, placing her pointer finger right below my neck, and slowly dragging it down my chest.

I moved again, walking to the kitchen. "Carly, don't pull that with me. What's going on? Why are you acting like this?"

I looked at her, waiting for an answer. Her expression had gone cold, and all she said was, "Alright, Freddie, you can go now." And I did.


	6. Chapter 6: Carly

Chapter Six: Carly's POV

"So, baby, what do you wanna do?" Adam asked, moving closer towards me in the dark, putting his hand high up on my thigh, almost to my waist.

"You know Spencer's camping, that's why you're acting like this," I said. He wasn't listening. He was too busy kissing my neck to pay attention to what I was saying.

"Here," he said, handing me the bottle of beer he'd brought along, "take a sip and just try to relax."

I thought of saying no, then remembered last time I'd tried. So I took a big gulp. Then another. And another, until the bottle was empty and I was feeling like reciprocating Adam's actions. Deep down somewhere, I knew that was his plan. But closer to the surface, I told myself I didn't care.

I kissed his lips, neck, and chest, unbuttoning his shirt eagerly. I felt his tongue begging for entrance, and I granted it, opening my mouth and letting his tongue enter. And it did, hungrily. Soon, our tongues were practically having a wrestling match. He was winning, like always.

When he started to unbutton my pants, I stopped. "Adam, wait," I said, trying to get a breath through in between his bruising kiss.

"Shut up," he warned, and I felt his hand ball into a fist. I didn't say anything. Soon, we were both in nothing but underwear.

"You've got a condom, right?" I asked, badly wanting to shove him out the door, but knowing what would happen if I tried.

This was the second time this had happened. It was always the same. The first time, I'd invited him over for a movie, and when he got here, he turned off all the lights and locked the door. He went to work quick, wasting no time. As soon as he had me under him, lying on the couch, he passed me the bottle, and I refused.

"What?" he growled, getting up off the couch and looking at me. Even in the dark, I knew I was in danger.

"What's come over you, baby?" he asked, a sinister grin spreading over his face. He moved over to me and wrapped his arm around my waist gently. He noticed right away how stiff I was, standing there like a piece of cardboard. He, not satisfied, tightened his grip on my waist. When I still didn't reciprocate, he lost his temper, throwing me to the ground with a thump.

He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back up. He grabbed me by the neck, shoving me into the wall and kissing me again, forcefully opening my jaw, forcing me to let his tongue enter. I, again, just stood there, and I felt his fist jam into my stomach.

I was beginning to get angry. This wasn't what I wanted. I shoved him off me and screamed, "Get out of my house!"

I'd made a very bad decision. He ran to the kitchen, grabbing our glass plates and throwing them at me. I ducked and two missed, hitting the wall, shattering into a million pieces, all falling onto me. Small cuts invaded my skin. There were on my arms, my cheeks, my forehead, and legs. Then, when I was caught off guard, a plate hit me in the stomach, shattering and slicing open my skin, and knocking the wind out of me at the same time. I fell to the floor, defeated, sobbing, begging for mercy. He walked to me, took my chin in his hand, his nails digging into my cheeks, making me bleed more. My salty tears reached my cuts and made them burn like fire, and I screamed. He silenced me with a rag, then slapped me.

After a while, he left, leaving me on the floor, crying, badly hurt.

When Sam asked how we were going, I didn't have the strength to tell her what had really happened. So I said it was fine.

His harsh voice interrupted my memories. "Trust me." But I didn't. Not even the by the smallest amount.


	7. Chapter 7: Sam

Chapter Seven: Sam's POV

"She did what?"

Freddie and I, since we started dating, decided on a rule: we had to tell each other everything, no exceptions.

"I'm not kidding, not in the slightest," he assured me. I sat on his bed to think. We were in his room. His mom, after her nervous breakdown, had sent someone to look after him. Most of the time they weren't home. They were out partying. This was a nice arrangement for us.

"Why would she do that?" I demanded, getting ready to walk across the hall and punch her.

"How am I supposed to know, Sam? I can't read her mind!"

I stood up and began to walk for the door, my hands clenched so tightly in fists my knuckles were white and purple. Freddie dashed from his spot to stand in front of the door. "Oh no, you don't," he said. "We don't know what's going on. We have to hear her half of the story first. Maybe it's her dad. Maybe it's Adam."

"Her and Adam are fine, I asked her," I lied. He knew I wasn't being entirely truthful. No matter how good a liar I am, he's always been able to see right through me.

"Alright, fine! When I asked her, she started getting really nervous, and you know she's a terrible liar. Something's up."

Freddie rubbed his chin, deep in thought. Something I never understood. Why do men have to attack their face with their hand when they're concentrating on something?

"Well she's not just going to tell us," he said finally. "We either have to force it out of her, or ask Adam what's going on."

"Why would Adam tell us? It's obvious he's the problem here, otherwise Carly would be whining to me about feeling guilty about something."

"How about this? We just keep an eye on her." I nodded.

I was walking to Carly's late on a Saturday night. I was getting back from Freddie's and I didn't want to go back home, it would ruin my mood. I knew Carly wouldn't mind my appearance, so I went to her house.

I had gotten to the house and heard arguing, screaming and what sounded like glass breaking. I, not thinking twice, kicked the door in. What I saw was horrifying: Carly, quaking in a corner, Adam towering over her, throwing things at her. She was sobbing and begging forgiveness.

I didn't waste time. I ran to Adam, tackling him without holding back, screeching battle calls. He landed on his stomach on the hard wooden floor, disoriented. I twisted his left arm and right leg in ways they should never bend. He screamed in pain. I grabbed him by the hair, lifted him up to stand upright, wrapped my hand around the front of his neck and ran him into the wall. I kneed him in the stomach once more for good measure, then tossed him out the front door. "GET OUT!" I screamed. "YOU MESS WITH CARLY, YOU MESS WITH ME, YOU HEAR? LEAVE AND DON'T COME BACK! UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN!" Needless to say, he didn't come back after that.

I ran to Carly. "Carls, you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, choking back tears. Both of our voices were hoarse. "Sam? Thank you."

I hugged her, and we both sobbed. Just then, Freddie ran in, flipping on the lights and saying in a frantic tone, "What's going on? What happened? Why is Carly surrounded by broken glass?"

After explaining what had happened to Freddie, we treated Carly's cuts and bruises and black eye. Carly explained my attack like a proud trainer, describing every second with graphic detail, quoting my exact words.

"Wow. Remind me not to ever get you angry," Freddie joked, kissing me on the cheek.

"Carly, are you sure you're ok? How many times did that happen?"

Carly shrugged and smiled weakly, but I knew she was just as beaten on the inside as the out. "Two, three?"

"Three?" Freddie exclaimed, reaching for the phone. We heard three infamous beeps and Carly grabbed for the phone, then recoiled in pain, having bumped a bruise.

"Put the phone down, Freddie, please!" she begged. He did, looking concerned.

"Carly, we want total honesty: what's been going on?"

Carly burst into tears, then gasped in pain, the salt from the tears stinging her cuts along her face. "He told me if I told anyone or called the cops he'd come after you guys," she sobbed, and my heart went cold. "He said, 'Fine, you wanna call the cops? What about your little friends, huh? I doubt you'd like to see them get hurt!' It was like a villain in a comic and I was the ca-ca-ca-captive!" She choked on her words.

"I doubt we have anything to worry about," Freddie said. "After Sam's scene, anyway."

I couldn't say anything. All I could picture was my friend in that same position, helpless. It killed me like nothing ever did. All I wanted to do was shove that, that-no word, no matter how profane can describe him-off a cliff and laugh.


	8. Chapter 8: Freddie

Chapter Eight: Freddie's POV

It had been two weeks since the Adam incident, and we were all starting to calm down a little bit about it. Carly was still healing, most of the cuts on her faces closing up. I still wanted to call the cops, but every time I tried, Carly begged me not to.

In my room with Sam, I paced back and forth, pulling my PearPhone out of my pocket, then putting it back in, then taking it out again. I did this about five times before Sam finally said, "Freddie!"

This knocked me out of my daze. "Sam, what are we going to do?"

"Help Carly get better and forget about it?" she suggested.

"Sam, are you crazy? We can't just forget! That guy deserves to be behind bars!"

"I know, but don't you think making the smallest deal about this would be best for Carly? I just think she needs to forget." Sam never failed to shock me. One second she's crazy and reckless, the next she's normal and reasonable.

"I guess you're right."

"Well, I guess I should go check on Carly." She stood up off my bed and walked towards me.

"I love you, Sam," I whispered, looking into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I…l-l-lo…" Expressing her feelings had always been a problem for Sam.

I grabbed her wrists and looked her in the eyes. "Say it!" I cried jokingly.

"I LOVE YOU, FREDDIE BENSON!" she shouted, her eyes shut tight. I leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed back. We laughed, and she left. I waited for her to leave completely before I pulled out my phone again.

"911, what is your emergency?"


	9. Chapter 9: Carly

Chapter Nine: Carly's POV

"You called the cops?" Sam shouted, sounding like she had committed the crime and not Adam.

"I had to! The jerk left me no choice!" Freddie yelled back defensively.

"What if he comes back? What then, huh?" Sam asked, pushing Freddie a few inches backwards.

"Guys," I tried quietly, but to no avail.

"What, so we were just going to let him do the same thing to a bunch of other girls, too?" Freddie growled.

"What if he comes back for Carly? What if he thinks she called the cops? What if she comes back and we're not here?" At the last word, her voice cracked, but her face remained just as strong.

"Sam…" I tried again.

"We will be here!" Freddie tried to assure her.

"How do you know? You don't! You don't know what could happen!"

"Sam, would you just be happy Carly's safe?"

"Carly isn't safe! Neither are you!"

"And what about you, Sam?" Freddie said, his tone getting softer, his eyes filling with concern to replace the anger.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine, alright?" she shouted.

"Uh, guys?" I attempted, but they didn't hear me. They continued arguing, just like old times. "Guys? GUYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Finally, they turned to look at me. "It's fine. Really. He's all talk."

"Oh, really? And the cuts and bruises are sure proof of that," Sam hissed sarcastically.

"Exactly. If we don't do something about this guy, he's not going to stop!" Freddie insisted.

"Freddie, I can't believe you would put you and Carly in danger like that!"

"What about YOU?" Freddie practically screamed.

"I'LL BE FINE! I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO PROTECT ME!" Sam really did scream, "INCLUDING YOU! WE'RE OVER!" and ran out the door.

"Sam, please, wait!" Freddie called, running out the door to catch up with her.

"Well, didn't that go swimmingly."


	10. Chapter 10: Sam

Chapter Ten: Sam's POV

I ran out of the Shay apartment and into the nearest elevator.

"Hey, what's up?" I turned to see the biggest douche in the world: Adam.

"What the hell do you want?" I hissed, moving as far from him as possible.

"Simple. You."

"Excuse me?" I growled, refusing to look him in the eye.

"I like a girl who can handle herself," he purred in my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Lay off," I warned, stepping away from him again.

This time, he meant business. He grabbed me by the wrists and shoved me against the wall. Caught off guard, he was too strong for me. He forced his lips onto mine, his tongue into my mouth, and as I desperately tried to get away, it was no use. He ripped off my shirt and began feeling me up. Even not holding onto my wrists, he was right up against me, smushing me into the wall and causing me to not be able to move. Or object.

"Adam," I managed to choke out, "get…off."

"Oooh, I love it when you say my name," he hissed, kissing my neck.

Just then, the elevator door opened and the most beautiful voice in the world said, "Sam?"

In a second I shoved Adam off of me, adrenaline rushing through my body. "Freddie-" I started.

"I can't believe you," he said, his voice filled with heartbreak.

"No, Freddie, I swear, he was coming on to me," I said, not caring at all I still didn't have my shirt on.

"Hey, she's hot, what was I supposed to do, right?" Adam laughed.

Freddie's eyes went to Adam. He marched over to him and gave Adam a swift right hook, causing Adam to stumble backwards. I had never felt more proud of my boyfriend.

I put my shirt on and Freddie smiled and extended a hand to me, which I took in mine. He kissed me gently, and I felt fireworks.

Just then, police burst through the door, not causing us to break our kiss for even a second. A big man grabbed Adam and handcuffed him.

"Wait, Sam, SAM!" Adam shouted as they walked him out the door to their cop car.

Freddie and I just kept kissing, and I was in complete paradise.


	11. Chapter 11: Freddie

Chapter Eleven: Freddie's POV

"He's really gone?" Carly said, her eyes looking happier than I'd seen them in a long time.

"He's really gone," Sam said.

"You guys are the best," Carly replied, a tear rolling down her cheek and a smile spreading across her face. "How can I ever repay you?"

"No need," we said at the same time. Sam looked up into my eyes and smiled. I kissed her forehead, savoring even that small moment.

And we all sat on the couch, Sam's legs in my lap, my arm around her waist, Carly on the end, holding a bowl of popcorn and smiling. We began discussing our next iCarly, ready for whatever the remains of our teenage years wished to throw at us. Because no matter what happened, we'd be together. And that's all we could really ask for.


End file.
